Relationships can get tough if you feel like all you ever do is fight. If that is happening in your marriage, your relationship could use a boost of positive enhancement!! The essence of your relationship should not be disagreements. You need to reach out to your partner and your partner needs to reach out to you. Now, you might be thinking, "I'm trying to help our marriage, but she isn't responding" or "He never tries to do anything but fight with me." It might be possible to recognize efforts that your spouse is making if you are cued in on one relationship term:
BIDS
Bids are anything that one spouse does to attempt to reach out to the other for shared humor, attention, affection, or love. They can be as simple as your spouse smiling at you or touching your shoulder as you walk by. No, he might not actually be clumsy, but is instead trying to reach out to you with a gesture of love. No, she might not be trying to bring up a negative comment, but reaching out for you to show her you care about your day. And so on.
Responding to our spouses' bids is important to relationship survival. Men tend to ignore more bids than women do, even in divorcing situations, but both spouses do it. You will see a difference in your relationship as you notice times that your spouse is vying for your love, attention, or to share a moment and you make the effort to respond well. Smile back, laugh at the joke, put down what you are doing to engage in a conversation, or reach out to grab his hand when he rubs your shoulder. It may not feel as authentic at first, but will become more natural with time as you feel yourself investing in your relationship, moment by moment.
Enjoy!!
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