Think About It

When conflict starts it is because one or both partners feel that their expectations have been violated.. 

Here are some examples of expectations:

• "My wife will take care of all the housework.”
• “My husband will be a great listener.”
• “My spouse will be like my mother/ father”
• “My relationship with my spouse will always be the same throughout our marriage”

Not all of these are realistic expecations, although they may someday be met by that spouse of yours who really does love you and is learning to show it.

THINK ABOUT IT!!

What could be a healthy alternative to starting a fight?
Try analyzing your expectations. Are they realistic? Are they hypocritical? 
Express your expectations to your spouse and talk about them. We aren't mind- readers.
Weigh the cost of arguing against what you are loosing if your spouse doesn't meet your expectations. Is it worth it??

Remember: You have to pick your battles. No fights should occur over preferences. Values are the only things you might consider a positive focus of scrutiny.